'Don't gender me' means:
- Gender is a bullshit structure that hurts me and everyone I care about. Do what you want with it, I don't care, just leave me out of it.
- Don't use gendered language to talk about me. No 'boy / girl', no 'masc / femme', no 'enby', no 'agender', no gendered terms like 'mistress', absolutely nothing. You don't need to refer to a gender when you're talking about me, ever, so don't.
- 'Non-binary' and 'trans' are both technically accurate, but they're labels I associate with for pragmatic reasons, not because I identify with them or their communities.
- If you have gender preferences for things (intimacy, romance, kink, etc.) don't try to involve me in them.
- Do not fuckin test me on this
long, elaborating on 'Don't gender me' means:
I don't want to get intimate with people who have gender preferences because that is a way of viewing people that is fundamentally incompatible with how I want to be treated. If someone cares enough about gender to evaluate all of their potential intimate partners by it, that necessarily means applying a gender to me, which I'm not putting up with
Like, I get that most people don't know how to not have that viewpoint, let alone actually give a shit about changing it. Even so, I'm not going to bother getting close to people who can't manage it. If I do, that viewpoint becomes my business, and frankly I'm fuckin done enough with gender as it is
If you like girls, go find someone who's happy being treated like a girls. If you don't like boys, go find someone who cares about not being a boys. I'm not gonna get intimate with someone who disrespects me because they can't conceive of intimacy without gender being involved.
