long, elaborating on 'Don't gender me' means:
I don't want to get intimate with people who have gender preferences because that is a way of viewing people that is fundamentally incompatible with how I want to be treated. If someone cares enough about gender to evaluate all of their potential intimate partners by it, that necessarily means applying a gender to me, which I'm not putting up with
Like, I get that most people don't know how to not have that viewpoint, let alone actually give a shit about changing it. Even so, I'm not going to bother getting close to people who can't manage it. If I do, that viewpoint becomes my business, and frankly I'm fuckin done enough with gender as it is
If you like girls, go find someone who's happy being treated like a girls. If you don't like boys, go find someone who cares about not being a boys. I'm not gonna get intimate with someone who disrespects me because they can't conceive of intimacy without gender being involved.
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