'Don't gender me' means: 

- I fucking hate gender. Keep it the fuck away from me.
- Don't use gendered language to talk about me. I'm not a girl, or boy, or enby, or agender. You don't need to refer to a gender when you're talking about me, ever, so don't.
- Don't call me non-binary. It's true, but I'm sick of the third gender bullshit that gets applied to non-binary people.
- I'm not going to object to being called trans, since it's also true, but mind the above.
- If you have gender preferences for things (intimacy, romance, kink, etc.) don't try to involve me in them in any way. Like, if gender is a consideration for you at all, leave me alone, I'm not interested.
- I'm restraining a lot of anger about gender basically at all times, so do not fuckin test me on this

elaborating re: 'Don't gender me' means: 

Lemme elaborate on what I mean by one of these points

I literally do not fit into models of attraction that evaluate people based on gender, like, if some set of genders is exclusively what you do or do not want to get up to certain things with (including, like, whatever degree of cisness), there is no room for me in that

The only way I fit is if either
- I'm just bundled in with whatever is actually wanted (this has invariably resulted in me being treated how I explicitly do not want to be treated)
- The gender part of attraction is just, like, ignored altogether (it works but I will have that hanging over my head forever, which isn't ideal)

So, generally speaking, I am not interested in getting intimately involved with people who experience attraction through gender

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